I'm starting to date again after a three month hiatus. Since September of last year, I've had 4 relationships, two of them were what I would call "significant." What I've learned in the last year is that dating a guy with the same name as the boyfriend immediately previous is a really bad idea. Like, I spent six months of the year 2007 with a guy named 'Jeff,' only there were two of them. And people don't realize when you're dating the second Jeff that it's a different Jeff than the first one so when the second Jeff meets your friends after the first Jeff did, your friends look at him and go, "Oh...you're not..." and they look at me and I hold up two fingers as if to say, "this is Jeff number two." And I roll my eyes. And then later they ask how many Jeffs I've dated. And I say just the two, but I've also dated two Bobs and two Tonys. And I'm proud of it.
The person I'm going out with on Saturday has the same name as another guy I dated back in 1998 at the University of Kansas. Joe College was a pre-med organic chemistry whiz that I met in my plant physiology class. We'd meet up at the quad for coffee, and it was there, as we snuggled on the floor in the hallway by the restrooms, that he quietly confessed to having knocked his high school girlfriend up twice so they now had two children together that were being raised by his mother. Why this didn't freak me out, I know not. Joe College was naturally erotic by just being himself. He was remarkably taciturn and had a tattoo of a Gothic sun on his shoulder, smooth dark skin and a masculine scent. He always wore a henley and Pumas. I made him spaghetti dinner on Christmas Eve, and then he disappeared out of my life. Inexplicably. I never even slept with him. But he was probably the hottest guy I've ever dated to this day. The hottest.
When I dated the Jeffs, I had a tendency to refer to them by number, or by saying "old Jeff/new Jeff." I'm never doing this again. Since my relationship with Joe College was short and insignificant, I really don't feel justified in calling him "Joe number one, " making this 'new' Joe "Joe number two."
And why does dating two guys with the same name make you more likely to compare them. Like, the two Jeffs were easy to compare. Why? Because, a) they were nothing alike; b) they were back to back relationships so I had spontaneous recall; and c) they were both Jeffs. I wouldn't think it would be the same with the Joes but since I realized I dated another Joe ten years ago I've already started drawing comparisons!! I'm so ashamed!!
Its times like these I start to wonder if I have any personal integrity when it comes to guys. Or am I just a collector?