Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Top Ten Reasons Why Men Should Be Permitted to Grunt at the Gym

10. Guys tend to fart if they can't grunt.

9. Multiple men grunting simultaneously can sound like a slowed down record of the Boys' Choir of Harlem.

8. Maybe it'll break that idiot couple across the room from their obnoxious flirting which is distracting me from my stretching exercises.

7. Because it sounds like sex.

6. Male grunting is generally sufficient in volume to drown out my cries of pained agony during the torturous walking lunges.

5. Because if they grunt, maybe they won't take their shirts off. Ew.

4. If the rhythm is right, it can sound like a great song from the Pretenders.

3. Because it makes me giggle, which boosts my endorphins, enabling me to make it thorough the last set of assisted chin-ups before dropping to the floor in a narcoleptic coma.

2. It will detract attention from my cellulitic thighs.

1. Good acoustics.