Friday, December 29, 2006

Fashion Sense

Everyday I get crankier and crankier with my wardrobe. I have a ton of tiny cotton t-shirts which are virtually useless, but I love them anyways. They are sexy with a pair of PJ bottoms, but that's about all the hope I have for them.

My daily fashion faux pas are many. Obviously nothing is as nefarious as wearing jeans to the company Christmas party like I did last Saturday. (I did it in style - with a slutty halter top, giant hoop earrings, and a pair of cheap wedges. (Just kidding.)) But, regularly I wear gold and silver jewelry at the same time, wear a brown belt with black shoes, rarely tuck stuff in, and frequently wear jeans that are too long. The single most common fashion mistake is pantyline. I never make this mistake, though because I have discovered the one secret to successful fashion in any capacity: thong underwear.

The thong was women's gift of clothing. I realized that I can get away with wearing any kind of pants or skirt with a thong? I used to think wearing a thong would be more agonizing than wearing a wool sweater with no bra. But, nevermore. I even wear them to bed. I've gotten completely used to it. Its taken a year or so, but eventually you don't even realize somethings jammed up your buttcrack.

Plus, such a teeny piece of fabric takes up hardly any room in my suitcase. Or in my purse. (Don't ask.)